| you wanted me to jump, so I jumped, but you got scared and backed out, and I understand |
[10 May 2004|12:53am] |
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i'm considering south beach |
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So I'm now officially enrolled as a film major. I made it in. It's ironic though because the thing that got me in was my writing, not my art. I think it's gross though that I didn't feel excited about getting in until I heard a girl from my theater class talking about how she didn't get in.
Science presentation went well too. My group gave me a nickname....little legs. Yeah and now I officially understand how Jason feels when we call him Butterfly. We evaluations for the TAs and I wrote "Jeff responds well to flirting...which was good for me" and Barbara thought that was hilarious. I wonder if he'll know it was me. I hope so because that would be awesome.
Let's see Friday was my theater thing which went okay. Then I got ice cream with my dad. Then I met Jessica at her house and we took Scott and Amanda to Friendlys. They're so cute together. Apparently, Scott was talking about me picking him up (?) and Amanda couldn't remember my name so she was like "nipples?" and hence that has become my nickname with that group. That's worse than little legs I think. So we dropped her off and Jessica and I came back to her house and gave Moo a bath. She had lost her ferrets so we went looking for them. And then hung out until it was time to pick up Geoff.
Saturday Jessica called me at like 4 but that's crazy talk I was dead asleep. Went with my parents to BJs to get stuff for the trip. Then we ate at Jumpers. Came home and went to Jessica's. We wanted to see Van Helsing, so we went to Hoyts. But we were 5 minutes too late and I was being anal about it, so then we went on a quest to get ice cream but failed miserable and ended up at Double T in annapolis. Where we didn't get dessert at all. Hahaha. The plot thickened there though. Then we went to Rite Aid where Jessica bought me a "I'm so glad we're friends!" card which was adorable.
So there was a time when I was feeling bad about telling Erin's secret, but yeah not anymore. I feel completely justified in it now. I've been hearing from everyone now how before any of this shit broke out, Erin was telling EVERYONE shit about me. Mostly lies. And she contradicts herself constantly. At one point she was telling everyone that my parents caught me having sex in their bed, but then turned around and said that I'd never kissed anyone. Which is interesting because when I was 12 (she was 9) she saw me making out with a 17 year old in her hot tub! And I'm sure she ended up finding out about the whole Kris mistake and then told everyone. Oh also there was a point when she was telling people I walk around outside naked b/c my parents don't care. Or the time she told everyone that Nathan and I parked down in the circle and didn't come back until 3am. She did this to Jessica too. I mean I didn't even know Jessica as a person and I knew everyone one of her secrets because Erin told me...except she made Jessica look like a slut when she wasn't. Now Matt is going around telling people shit about me that's not true. I'm sure Ali is too. It's like the only people that aren't are Jenny, Jessica, and Charles. They're my only friends who still care about me so I'm completely pledging my honestly and loyalty to them.
Oh yeah, you want to know the gretest thing? My dad is totally telling off my therapist for ruining my life. I only went to her because my parents think I'm too dramatic (mostly the trying to run someone over with my car thing...) and ever since I started going, she's persuaded me to fuck things up royally with everyone. I mean there was one point when she was trying to convince me that my father was going to abandon me....okay if you know anything remotely about my dad, you'd know that's total bullshit. Then there was one time when she was advising me to go have a threesome with Erin and Mike. WHAT?!? Ew, if that had happened, I don't know where the fuck I'd be right now in my life. So anyway she sent us some bullshit bill about me cancelling apts for my surgery! So my dad is pissed and he's calling her up and yelling at her for being a bitch. Hahahahahaha. So fantastic! When she busted out with the "everything that you do in this world is either out of fear or love" bullshit I should have known she was insane. I mean did she get her papers from watching Donnie Darko?? Oh and how her solution for everything was having sex with everyone. Her and Erin would have really gotten along. Hahaha.
I'm so excited I'm leaving on thursday! I've already started packing. I worked out the Piggles and Spike situation too. Jenny pulled through for me. She's such a trooper. Plus I'm greasing the wheels a little with her blanket and candy. Muahahaha. God I love her so much!
Oh yeah and if things go a certain way, I might be spending a lot of time in New Jersey this summer....between that and vacations, I might not be home very much which will be fantastic! I need a change of scenery so bad it's ridiculous.
It's all open doors from here on out.
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| Give me heaven or I'll raise hell |
[07 May 2004|12:51am] |
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great expectations |
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Tomorrow will be the end of a loooooong week. I've managed to finish my whole art portfolio, finish my science website (my part of it at least)
Things I've Done this Week:
-Finished my whole art portfolio (recommendations, application, transcript, personal statement, 6-8 pieces of work, 2 assigned projects)
-Finished my science website (well at least my part of it (methods and pasadena) But I also helped with the layout design
-Finished my personal site which I needed for science but it's just about me and has recent pictures on it, but I finally figured out how to upload to the umbc server. thank god.
-Organized two science group meetings
-Networked with the INDS people, sat through 3 and a half presentations, got free food
-Got another fucking parking ticket. Road by the meter guy blasting Jay Z's Threat.
-Got summer clothes (and accessories) About $120 from American Eagle, $130 from Lerner's, and $50 from Victoria's Secret.
-Made copies of The Well of Horniness for my theater group....passed them out.
-Rehearsed for Cycles
-Wrote my science presentation lecture
-Wrote my science group evalutation.
Things I still have to do:
-Turn in art portfolio tomorrow (Friday) 8:30am
-Science presentation tomorrow (Friday) 2-3:50
-Rehearsal for Cycles performance tomorrow (Friday) 6:45-7
-Cycles performance tomorrow (Friday) 8-9ish
-WMST final paper
-Study for art final (i.e. read the fucking book!)
-Study for science final (thank god barbara gave me her notes!)
-Study for film final (watch movies, read articles...)
-Pack
-Cash in my money, so my bills go through
That's all I can think of right now. I've done more this week then I think I've done all semester.
Charles: there, doesnt that make your troubles seem insignificant?
Samantha: just because I'm not as fat as that girl? I'm well on my way though!
Charles: lol shutup, you're hot
:-) swoon...
Piggles thinks she's so adorable.
(Oh yeah one of Jessica's hamsters died mysteriously, so yeah she's out of the running for watching Piggles and Spike. Someone needs to watch my hamsters dammit!)
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| You're the one who told me to forget him. Like he's dead. |
[03 May 2004|01:32am] |
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I've never been so paid up in my life! |
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I'm fucking exhausted, but I'll still do this for you.
"I don't think you should base your future on a movie you saw."
Thursday, I had my advising meeting. My advisor kinda freaked on me and was like "yeah you need to get your act together." So this week's itinerary includes finishing my art portfolio, submitting it friday morning, networking like crazy wednesday and thursday, and volunteering at the film festival wed-sun. That goes along with finishing and uploading my science webpage, dealing with my science group members--the one who are so uninspired, and planning my science presentation which is due friday. Oh and I also have a performance Friday night at school in the Caberet. It's for my theater class. It's about periods though, which I think is incredibly cliche for being feminist but whatever. Everytime they say "tampon circle" I giggle. Anyway for my part I get to sit in the audience and past audience members cryptic notes. So people will think I'm crazy! So awesome. But anyway, yeah so on thursday I had to perform in class. The assignment was to take a gendered object and use it in a unconventional way. So I glued fake eyelashes to my boobs in the shape of eyes. Everyone thought it was hilarious. Diana yelled at "I love that girl!" So it went well. Oh yeah and when I came home from school I saw the pink flower lei on the table. Erin returned all my stuff. Everything. Even the Selena cd that she's had basically since the movie came out. Seeing it made me kind of sad. Was it worth it? No, not really. Oh and I totally didn't know that she had my jerk factory shirt...which in returning it is kinda ironic.
"After we talked, I started seeing you differently. And I know exactly which phrase it was. It was 'I don't want to be with you.' When you said that, it's like I got a hot flash over my body."
Friday, I had stupid science lab. I'm so over that class, it's ridiculous. Well I had scoured the internet trying to find picture for our group site, and I download them and bring them in. I also came in with an idea for how we could present....did anyone else do this? No. The boys in my group (minus Jason) just want to do a plain black and red website and follow exactly the lab report format....which is boring. I'm sorry it is. So then they're constantly trying to dumb me down into their level and I'm trying to bring them up...which makes me a control freak apparently. Whatever. I'm so slamming people on the evaluation. Anyway so Barbara and I spent the lab looking for pictures and goofing off since the boys were pissing us off. Jeff (the TA) was the only other person there besides my group, and Barbara was like "you two should get married!" And I was like "why b/c we're both little?" and she's like "no because you both like comic sans!" I don't think you can base a relationship on liking the same font. Haha. I was telling her about my next movie (where I terrorize my aunt with this antique doll who she thinks is possessed) and Jeff was like "you're kind of evil." Kind of? He was trying to help me with uploading my page but I don't really think it was sucessful. When I fail at this I'm probably going to go crawling to him, which I think will be interesting. So yeah afer lab, I came home and then went to Windows for lemon pepper tuna, on dad's expense account of course. Then I wasn't meeting Jessica until 9, so I go home and I'm like "I'll just lay down and cover up and close my eyes but not fall asleep..." But of course I did and woke up at 8:30 and still had to take a shower and everything. But I somehow managed to make it to Carini's (in severna park) at like 9:10. It was impressive. So in my world, I consider Annapolis Mall to be the closest to Carini's since it's on ritchie hwy. Geoff disagrees with me on this but oh well he's mexican so I'm right. So yeah we go there to see Mean Girls because it's our freaking movie! Jessica is hungry so she makes me get cinnabons even though I'm so not hungry. But I eat it anyway b/c I'm a fat kid and that's what we do. We saw Marty and Mike there. I should have introduced them as "accomplices to erin's drunken escapades in college park" b/c then at least Jessica would have had some perspective. Haha. But yeah the movie was good. Oh man the whole thing was like my freaking life these past months, you don't even understand. Like most things in the movie I can link back to either me, erin, ali, or Jessica. It's insanity. Like when lindsay lohan tells that girls bf that she's cheating on him? I was like that's me! Minus the whole making out beforehand part. THANK GOD. The ending was a little too unrealistic for me but it's a movie, so I guess it has to have some kind of hope at the end? Afterwards we had to leave to pick up Geoff because he's a baby and doesn't want to get shot/dragged along the road/ran over.
"Being like me and liking me are not the same difference!"
Saturday I woke up kinda early for me which was highly disappointing. I signed up for classes. Right now I only have Japanese, Intro to Acting, and Black Literature into Film. When I get clearance into the visual arts department, I'll drop the black literature class and go crazy with film classes. I'm also trying to weasel my way into an honors class. Then I did errands with my parents because I was so bored. We went to hair cuttery and I read magazines while they got haircuts. Then we mailed my overdue mail. Then we went to BJ's and I got lots of things. Then we went to Captain K's to eat. I got surf and turf. Then we came home and it was time for me to meet Jessica at Carini's. We had nothing to do. I really wanted to go see that Laws of Attraction movie (b/c I'm a nerd) but Jessica was low on funds. So we ended up getting cinnabons instead. Well she did. Then she randomly found all these gift certificates to Borders in her wallet, so we went and got them checked and they were like over $50! So she went on a quest to waste that money. While she was looking at cds, I was checking out the film books, and this guy comes over to my section and picks up a random book and is looking through it and then randomly is like "hey what does your shirt say?" and I'm like "Get leid island style" and he's like "haha yeah you should be careful that shirt could get you in trouble" So then right there I'm like "oh and this is where I get molested..."and he's all like "where did you get it?" Why because you want one? So I tell him. Then he's like "where do you live?" And I tell him...and he's like "did you go to chesapeake?" And the whole time I'm like where's Jessica? Come save me! So eventually she comes over to me and I walk away with her nonchalantly, and that guy leaves the film section....because what he wanted isn't there anymore. I swear I can't understand why I get picked up in stores like that. It'll either be fained interest in what I'm interested in or they'll ask me questions about the store like I work there. Creepy. Anyway so Jessica manages to spend like 3 hours there. She gets a cd and a bartending book and some burt bee's stuff. I get some Japan books. Then we were going to go to my house and get Lost in Translation and then go back to Jessica's and watch it but then Geoff decided that he needed to be picked up at 1am. Oh yeah I almost forgot! Scott called Jessica and asked her if I would go pick him up, then go and pick up his gf, and then take then to arundel mills to see a movie, and then pick them up and drop his gf off, and then drop him off. He's fucking crazy! When did I become a soccer mom? So yeah we go over Jessica's to watch my lesbian movie, but the vcr isn't hooked up so I just play with all her animals. She got a new hamster is it's all fuzzy. She's afraid of it so I had to pick it up and love it :-) And Moo (her other hamster) is doing good. Okay remember how I said he grew giant balls? Yeah they're gone now....what's the deal with that? Boys are so gross. Then Jessica let her ferrets out and they chased me around the room which Jessica thought was hilarious. So eventually she had to pick up Geoff and I came home. Oh I watched Ed Wood last night. Oh man such good inspiration.
"Lying and cheating is proof that you really want something!"
Today I woke up and had nothing to do. My dad was having an improptu Dracula movie marathon and my mother was outside being dorky. So I thought I'd get a heads up on my science project and went to get picture of my water site. Unfortunately when I get there I realize that my palm pilot has completely run out of batteries. Such sadness. So I come home and bother my dad to feed me, and evenutally my parents decide on boston market. So we eat and come home and I watch some simpsons, and then I pay some bills, and write my fake recommendation letter for art. My mom's like "you're such a liar!" So lying is how you get ahead. Duh. I also found my essay by looking through my journal entries and finding that one where I say why I want to be a filmmaker. That was genius. Tomorrow I'm going to really have to step it up. Take my science pictures. Start working on my website. Convince my aunt to sign my fake recommendation letter. Mail it. Have to dub copies of my movie for my theater group. Pay my parking ticket. Find time to swim! Cash in my scratch offs. Take that money to the bank. And that's just one day. I hate being busy. But up until the 13th that's how I'm going to be. Such sadness.
Oh yeah and just to let you kids know....the locusts are coming on the 5th! Be afraid.
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| God show me the way because the devil's trying to break me down |
[28 Apr 2004|12:58am] |
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I love that Jesus Walks song by Kanye West |
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There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you." I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before you popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd. --From Pulp Fiction
( Purgation )
In other news, I completely rocked my film test and got an A. Very excited about that. Today we watched Pulp Fiction, which I'd never seen before, hence the quote above. Yesterday I swam and did weight room at Severna Park. Swimming was hard b/c I haven't since last summer and I'm still recovering. I got tired really easily. I should get better though. Today I did the gym at school between classes (well actually between the mall and a class, since I skipped for an emergency.) I did 10 mins on elliptical, 10 mins on the bike, and 10 mins on the rowing machine. Then I braved the weight room full of boys and did 20 mins of strength. Except for general surgery soreness, I feel really good. I lost 1 1/2 pounds yesterday, which is 1/2 more than my dad! And he's a boy! Hopefully I can keep this momentum up. I figure if I keep working out I'll be okay. So tomorrow I'm going to the pool. The thursday I'll probably just use the gym at school. Then Friday, back at the pool.
I'm so jealous of the room they just made on Make Room For Baby. I'm jealous of a freaking nursery. How sad.
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| Oh, you both have layers. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. |
[26 Apr 2004|01:19am] |
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Shrek |
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I'm doing good.
Funeral was saturday. Most inappropriate funeral ever. I was still swollen so I looked really fat. At least I thought so...and no one knew who I was, so I'm going to blame that on the surgery. I kept saying "I'm not fat, I had surgery!" Which made Jennifer cringe...because well she is fat? Before the viewing my mother touched the body...and then announced it to everyone and then made my aunt margaret do it too. Jennifer pointed out "hot" guys from another funeral there who were obviously homosexual, and I told her so, but she was like "no...they're probably just in a band!" well unless they're onstage, they're gay looking like that. That explains so much of her problems. At one point my mother pulls me into the bathroom with Ms Randi to show her my secret. My mother is first in line to offer up my nudity. That of course led Jennifer to freak out b/c she wanted to know what's going on, so I eventually told her at the reception...and made everything super gory and detailed and almost made her pass out! But anyway yeah I did good at the funeral. It wasn't bad at all. Which totally makes up for the spectacle I made at my grandfather's funeral. Although I was very sore and very high the whole time on meds, I was okay. My mom was okay too.
After the reception my dad took me to Friendly's to get a milkshake. Steve was there <3 He was like you're so pretty! B/c I was dressed up. He was going to give us my milkshake for free but his manager rang us up. He's so nice. My dad was like "well it's nice to meet the person all my money goes to" He's the greatest
:-)
Jessica came over that night since I've been MIA since wednesday, only communicating with people through text messages. The randomist people texted me while I was out. Jessica is trying to avoid Ryan who's in love with her now? That's awesome. I feel for the kid, I really do. Well see the interesting thing is...that at the funeral, my aunt had to use my cell phone and somehow she called Matt? Which is basically impossible b/c he's only in the phonebook...not on my dialed or received calls. So we of course hung up. But apparently, she was conncected for a minute and we kinda made a message on his machine? So he called me back TWICE! while I was at the funeral. Though I was silent, so I didn't get the calls. Well when I tell Jessica this, she freaks and makes me call him back. See, b/c at this point we haven't been friends with Matt for like two weeks, I think? He's supposed to be ignoring us. So I call him back. And we talk. And I'm like "so have you been hanging out with Erin a lot?" And of course the answer is no b/c once Jessica and I were out of the picture Erin didn't need to prove anything anymore. So she went back to ignoring him. And I was like "doesn't that make you mad that you had to give up us for nothing? And that she's out covorting with all her guy friends?" He's the first one to complain about her when she's not around but once he hears her voice, I'm convinced that his balls just shrivel up. So this is the interesting thing....I had sent Kristi an email, which by the way she never responded to, telling her why Erin and I weren't friends anymore (so she'd stop bothering Jenny about it) and I had ended it by saying that my grandmother is dying and that I have to get surgery so I don't want to deal with these insignificant problems anymore. Well even though Kristi never acknowledged that she had read the email....Erin must have read it, told Matt and Ali about the surgery and they've all been discussing it for the past week. Matt is all like "what did you get surgery for?" I refuse to tell them. They really need to stop talking about me. They'll be doing this though even next year. They're one of those people. I know it. Well anyway Matt is convinced that I got breast implants. He's always the first to talk about my breasts, etc. So apparently Erin thinks (and I'm sure has been telling everyone) that I'm in love with Matt. Honestly, I don't even like Matt as a person at this point. I can't stand people who are easily pushed around. I'm not in love with Matt, I'm in love with making Erin cry! Oh man I wish I could get that made into a bumper sticker. Oh yeah and Ali tells us that Erin misses being friends with me b/c she has nothing to do during the day. Uh she could hang out with Matt, who she loves so dearly? What a moron.
In other news, I won $25 on a scratch off! So I'm up to $100 in tickets. See who needs a real job?
But unfortunately, I am going to my petsmart job interview tomorrow. I'm applying for the position of rubbing the animals against my face all the time. The rest of the week I'm working out constantly. So I can beat my dad 0:-)
Okay now back to my crazy, crazy sex dreams.
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| Are you calling my bluff? |
[19 Apr 2004|01:50am] |
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Queer as Folk season premire! |
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So I got over being a blonde. I couldn't even see myself as a blonde anymore. I kinda made me want to vomit. So Jessica and I went and got me redyed on Friday. Most of you will be pleased with my resurgence of better times hair color.
I've also lost 9 pounds. Which is almost 10 pounds. Which is almost 14 pounds. I honestly don't know how I managed it. And after wednesday I won't be eating much, so this should be interesting.
I spent the weekend driving around basically. I drove everywhere. Played with Jessica's ferrets. They're not too creepy I guess. Her hamster is a screamer though. I've never seen a hamster scream before and it's disturbing. Oh and it also grew giant balls overnight. Pretty impressive, I guess. We figure it's from his exposure to Piggles and Spike. Scott still thinks I want him. Hung out with Ryan. He's a cool kid. He likes Jay-Z's Black album. He also has this outlook on everyone's life as being no one's business, which I think I need right now. We're going to a strip club next weekend. And he's also coming with me to hfstival. To see Jay Z <3
Got a call early this morning. It was Brandon. I was sleeping, so he left a message, which I haven't heard yet. Guess it's time to finally break down and receive all my messages. I think I'm up to 74 now. I wonder if it's too late to rekindle things with that westler kid?
I'm at the point where I'm so finished with school it's ridiculous. We're all tired of science class. It's such busy work, it's disgusting. The TA is being kinda snotty so I've stopped flirting to win us stuff. There's nothing left to win though so it's okay. I've probably bombed art history beyond repair. That was definitely one of those you should go to class, classes. Oh well. It drives me insane that for a film degree I have to study art history. I mean they don't make the painters study film history right?
My aunt and uncle are back for the summer. Living next door. My uncle is going to build my dad a home theater downstairs in the basement. How fucking rich kid is that? When did I become this person? I'm spoiled like crazy but that doesn't mean that makes me happy, okay? I'm working on it though, and getting there.
I rewatched Fast Times at Ridgemont High over the weekend. Explains so much.
Oh yeah and Scott and Amanda loved The Girl Next Door. That explains so much too.
When Jessica and I were out over the weekend, I bashed my knee into the car door. It hurt like a bitch when it happened. Today it looks really bad, but surprisingly it feels okay.
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| Next time you see a homie and his rims spinning, just know my mind is working just like them... |
[16 Apr 2004|01:07am] |
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killer klowns on tv. |
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...the rims that is.
Screened "The Well of Horniness" for my theater group. They loved it. Diana works for John Waters' assistant and she told her about it and now that woman wants to see my movie. Diana was like "I'm going to break you into the business!" So exciting! Our premire is next tuesday. Diana is having a wrap party at her house for us, which basically just means we'll watch the movie and eat and drink. Haha. I really do like those kids. We're talking about doing other projects together on our own time since we sort of click.
Went through lots of drama thursday + friday. Insanity. Learned a lot though. Spent Friday night with Jessica and Matt. Watched Hellraiser. Man that's a sucky movie. I still think it was just an excuse for people to have sex with corpses, but whatever. Watched Matt grow some balls, only to lose them over the weekend. It's okay though. My Travis Bickle stage is over, my friends. I'm at peace. Early saturday morning (like 6am) I was horrendously sick and thought I was dying. I recovered but it did knock me out for the whole weekend.
Having lots of fun with Jessica. She's a cool kid. Today we bought her a hamster and it's a boy so we introduced it to Spike and Piggles. Spike tried to have sex with it but it just licked her and then ran in it's wheel. Haha. I expect to have hamster babies though soon, which will be awesome. Tomorrow hanging out with Jessica and Ryan (swooning, hopefully.)
Just found out my grandmother died. We just got the call. My mom is trying to decide if we should go "see the body." I never do good with death but right now I'm okay.
Wednesday I'm having surgery. And honestly it can't come soon enough b/c I'm in so much pain it's ridiculous.
I know it sounds like my life is crappy right now but for the first time in weeks, I'm at peace with everything.
Oh yeah, it's not Japan but it's close enough....May 13 I'm outta here. Thank goodness.
Hope everyone is well...
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| "Affleck has a luscious cock." |
[03 Apr 2004|03:26am] |
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enthralled |
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:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D |
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Lesbians! Alcohol! Secrets! Celebrities! (i.e. big fucking, exciting update fo a change.)
We'll start with yesterday....
Thursday, I had to drive in Baltimore City, by myself (a first) to get to Diana's house so we could do our project for theater. You know those adorable old timey houses...yeah that's her house! Basically the entire time we just fucked around. I really love making movies with friends (not that the four of us are friends, but after all the shit we did yesterday, we're pretty close.) See when everyone suggested that I be the star of the play, I was all for it! And then I read the scene we were doing and realized that there was a big girl on girl love scene. But we'll get to that. Total filming was about 2 hours. We filmed jail scenes in her really creepy basement, which I'm sure has dead bodies hidden in it. After like filming only 5 minutes of USEABLE material that's when we broke out the wine and everything went to shit after that. Haha. Now I find this really interesting, one girl had one glass of wine and was like majorly buzzed, my wine did nothing for me, I'm more of a beer girl, another girl had the wine, and like 3 beers while we were there and was still fine. Haha. So after the wine that's when we were supposed to film the love scene in my car. Really hot, you know. Yeah but me making out with friends, has never turned out good (hence why I haven't, nor will I ever make out with Jenny) so we opted out and instead I was supposed to seduce this really creepy mannequin. Yeah like thirty takes later, after it's arm had fallen off, and I had hit my head on the roof of the car, I yell out "I can't do it! It's too creepy! Im afraid it will bite me!" Yeah that's my diva blooper. Haha. So amazingly we finish the car crap, and go back inside and Shaynna glues the face on the giant black dildo, which is actually a vibrator that take a freaking 9-volt battery! Insanity. So we finish the scenes in the kitchen and then we have to move into the bedroom for those scene, in which I have to wear this really tiny purple nighty, and Diana has this little parrot that really likes purple, so while I'm standing around the bird freaking flies at my and attaches itself to me and I freak out. So yeah everything in the bedroom was a first man. Diana showed us all the sex toys she's gotten at those sex toy parties, and then she had this like mouth numbing stuff that she made us all try. But yeah it was definitely the first time I've ever been poked in the face with a giant black dildo. Probably not the last though. So after we finished and Shaynna left, Nicole(5), Diana, and I watched the footage and laughed until our jaws hurt. Oh yeah! And you know, it's too bad that Diana is like 23 and has a boyfriend because she would be perfect for Matt! She's a horror freak too, and she's met all the famous horror people that you and I don't know, but that they're really excited about. So I ended up leaving at like 6 and got lost coming home because I'm sorry but I can't find S Greene St. It doesn't exsist. Eh, I bullshitted my way home, and it was fine. I called Matt on the way home and Jessica was there so I came over. We went and picked up Jessica's brother and then dropped him off agina, and then dropped off Matt b/c we upset him and then we went to pizza hut where I ate everything. Then it was like 10 or something and we drove by Matt's house and he made the mistake of leaving his light on so we "forced" him to let us in. So we hung out there and Jessica and Matt were all buddy buddy :-) while I was on the computer shifting through all of Matt's saved porn links....one has puppies! I embarassed him too much and he deleted them so I wouldn't go there and be like "Oh I bet you really like this picture!" Haha. So Matt dodged Erin's calls, and Steve was freaking out about it bothering him, so it was funny on so many levels. Then Jessica had to leave to pick up her bf. You know what was surprising? How Matt called me out on the whole me not having the right to tease him about moving on from Erin because I do it too. Matt bothered everyone on my buddylist. He kept asking Jenny why she wouldn't have a threesome with us and she was like "Why does it have to be me, when there are so many people who would probably do it with you guys" And that weirded us out and then Jenny kept berrating Matt's penis, so he stopped talking to her. Haha. Then my dad called and was like "where are you it's like midnight?" So then I had to come home. And it was such a bitch slap to come home and realize that not only did I have to write my freaking lad report, I also had to do my website and upload it and then I had gotten an email from Barbara saying that our group was having a meeting at 12 today? That's insanity! I didn't go to bed until like 6 am.
Today. I so didn't want to get up. I was so freaking tired. I almost fell asleep on the way to school. So I met up with Barbara, Jason, Mike, and Joe in the library and they helped me upload my fucking webpage. Finally that's done. I swear I'm so incompetent with that crap. I can't even use frontpage because it's so much easier for me to just type in the html codes. And I still don't know how to use the umbc server thing to upload. Whatever, it's done. So we worked on the group website for like two hours. Insanity. It's funny because everyone kept saying I looked upset. Yeah I was upset that I missed out on two extra hours of sleep! Aparently I must have looked like crap today. So Jason, Joe and I went to get coffee, and then we went to lab. Lab sucked balls today. Oh man it did. The sub can blow me. He's so freaking pretentious. I wanted to vomit. We had to go outside and walk in the stream so I had to wear gross boots. Then when we came back inside, we realized that we had missed a complete section of data so we just made it up. And it freakin worked. Therefore, we're geniuses. That's right. Then we were really lazy and we made up the eutrophication data too. The only good thing was that we got our midterms back and I got a 95! Which I thought was amazing, even though Barbara ended up getting a 100. Sadness. So I had to come home b/c I couldn't go to college park yet b/c Jenny had work and then some show thing to do. I got chinese food on the way home, which possibly was tainted. I had about enough time to eat, take a shower, and get dressed, and then I left at like 5:45. The show was supposed to start at 7 and usually I would have made it there with time to spare but no here had to be fucking traffic all on 95 south which I sat in for like 45 minutes because god hates me. So I don't get to college park until like 7:20 and I'm freaking out. Then I meet up with Jenny and she gives me my ticket, and I'm like "what you're not coming?" and she's like "no the show practice goes on until 1am" Okay now it's a Fillipino culture show....is Jenny Fillipino? NO! Then why is she doing the show?? And she said that she was just "helping out" then why do they need. So I had a hissy fit and she "managed" to get away from the show, but only for an hour. Okay and she was like "oh they're going to get mad if they notice I'm gone." Well she was gone for over an hour and no one noticed, so I'm thinking that it wasn't imperative that she be at the practice. But whatver. So we get to the theater at like 7:30, but thankfully it hadn't started b/c Kevin wasn't there yet. Our seats were actually pretty close, considering there was like 2,700 people or some craziness like that. So the whole time Jenny is like "why isn't he here?" and she's checkig her cellphone like it's her job or something. What a nerd. So I guess at like 7:45, Kevin shows up. And you know the whole day I wasn't like really excited or anything, but we he came on stage I was like so excited. You know everyone is like "oh well I saw the Evening With...Dvd so I know what he's like live" but no it's way different. It seems really intimate, which is weird. But yeah he brought Jason Mewes which was awesome! And by the end Walt Flannagan and Brian Johnson had showed up. How cool is that? So yeah Kevin was late b/c of the traffic on 95 south! His car was probably one of the cars I cut off! So yeah you could go up and ask him questions, I couldn't really think of one except one about degrassi, but no. Dude Kevin Smith fans are vicious too, they have very short attention spans and not a lot of patience, so when you ask a question, you better know your shit. So Jenny "had" to leave at 8:30 (even though no one had called her.) But it was fine because by that time I was into it and didn't want to be bothered. So yeah, Kevin talked to us until almost 1 am. It was insanity. He was super nice about everything. A lot of people left when it started getting late but there was no way I was leaving. I had to pee so bad but I held it. It's weird b/c I always have to pee really bad whenever I want to do something really bad but I just hold it like a trooper. I'm so going to get a UTI one day. Anyway, so yeah it was hilarious...a few highlights...
On the Lord of the Rings trilogy... "Yeah I really couldn't get into it. I mean I appreciated with Peter Jackson did with the film, but it's basically a movie about people walking around." "They should have ended it with Sean Austin just sucking off Elijah Wood because come on, that would have been surprising!"
On Ben Affleck... "Affleck is hung man! His cock is huge...no huge doesn't do it justice, it's monstrous...no, that's too big....okay...only one word to describe it 'luscious'"
On jerking off to his wife's picture in Playboy...."I come out of the bathroom, and she's like 'what's that in your hand?' and I'm like 'oh...a magazine.' And she's like 'which one?' and I'm like 'oh....the Playboy. I was reading the article.' and she was like 'were you jerking off?' and I was like 'yeah, but it was too your picture!' and she goes 'are you retarded? you're fucking married to me. why would you want to jerk off to my picture when you can just have me?'"
After some Asian guy says that Asian girls are wild in bed... "Really? I've never heard that! Is that true?!? Why didn't you tell me that before I got married?!?"
On college... "See I always imagine college life to be all sex and drugs...am I right?" Silence... "Oh. That's disappointing."
Dissing UMD... "If you're born in LA, your IQ drops 40 points automatically." Some girl in the audience yells out hey! "It's true! I mean look, you are going to the University of MD!"
On butt sex (to a girl in the audience)... "So let me get this straight...you'll let your boyfriend hang up a naked picture of someone's wife in your house, but you won't let him near your asshole? You need to loosen up!"
On life philosophy... "There's two things you should do in life...number one: spank it to your wife's picture in playboy and number two: protest your own movie."
Oh it was so awesome. I had a great time.
Oh yeah and apparently Richard Kelly is trying to cast Kevin in a movie? Man just throw Cameron Crowe in and that's like seriously my film orgasm, right there.
Time to crash.
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| Defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies. |
[31 Mar 2004|12:04am] |
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degrassi, parent's day...nothing's on. |
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Damage control week. Feeling better.
Monday I went to art class and didn't fall asleep! Maybe it was because of the shock of getting a D on my midterm? Damn school for proving once again that you actually have to go to class. I did do good on the outline for the term paper though so I guess that'll equal stuff out? So came home, took my mom to AC Moore, so she could buy $100 worth of fake flowers. We have like $1000 worth of fake flowers and candles at my house. I feel like I live in a funeral. AC Moore is hiring and I'm very tempted to apply. We'll see. Then I got Chinese food on the way home. I'd prefer Japanese. Oh well. Then I ended up falling asleep when I got home and slept for a really long time. I gave up my no aim thing but I'm still doing good with my cell phone...I bet Jessica is freaking though.
Today in theater class, my group finally came up with a filming date. Thank god. So thursday we're all ditching class (we're excused though so it's not as fun) and we're going to Diana's house to shoot. She's like "yeah I'll get some wine and cheese and crackers and we'll have a good time!" Four girls + alcohol + a camera +a giant black dildo = insanity. Should be interesting. And I now know that I'm officially a nerd because I'm really excited to get back to filming and editing stuff. Just hand me my nerd glasses now. So we got to leave early and I went to work out. Thirty-five minutes on the elliptical trainer, and 20 minutes rowing. I heart rowing. I don't know why. So I showered and I had mad amounts of time left so I went to the commons and got some asian food, and then when I was standing in line to get a tea, Lauren Lankford was in front of me, which is incredibly random, but we ended up eating together. Unfortunately she broke up with her gay bf, but now that means he's available! Lauren is boy crazy so she kept trying to get all these random boys to sit with us. Then her friend Tim hooked up with us. He's cute. And smart and mature so I could probably marry him. He was trying to challenge me over the locust thing but I won out. Ha! Lauren and I decided to take this hip hop dance class. Randomly. Then I had to go to film class. We watched Taxi Driver and amazingly I fell asleep which means I missed all the parts that make the main character look bad, so basically when everyone was being pretentious and analyizing him, I looked like I didn't have a soul. Did a 7-11 run and came home. My house is freezing!
My dad is giving me like $10 every day so I can eat, but instead I'm just hoarding the money for my Japan trip. I'm going to need like $4,000 probably. Hey how much money do you get for selling your eggs? I mean it's not like I'm using them and I'm desperate to get away from this country!
Last night I attempted to get some closure by emailing Ali and Erin separately and explaining everything. Not in an attempt to be friends again. That's not going to happen, and I don't even think I want it to happen at this point. Soooo broken up for good. But I'm tired of not having closure for anything so I went balls to the wall on that one. I'm sure they spent hours discussing how self-righteous I am. Oh wait, they don't even know what self-righteous means! Too easy.
Oh my dad bought me the Texas Chainsaw Massacre DVD today but he didn't get the special edition, so no photos, no extra footage. Sadness. So now I'm going to have to bum a viewing off of Matt. Secretly of course, so Erin doesn't think we're having sex. You know because seeing people get hacked apart really does it for me.
I think I'm going through tanning withdrawl. I haven't had enough lethal cancer doses in awhile.
Okay this is ridiculous. I'm freezing. I'm so breaking out the snow pants.
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| Can you hear me? I don't want this anymore! I want to call it off! |
[29 Mar 2004|12:24am] |
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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. |
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"You have to lose your way, to find your way."
I'm losing myself indefinitely. This is the last you will hear from me for awhile. No home phone, no cell phone, no AIM. For emergencies, contact Jenny, she's the only one who knows where to find me.
Goodbye.
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| You're the only thing I'm really good at. |
[27 Mar 2004|12:39am] |
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"trying to remember what I saw in him" -- Emma |
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"Today may be filled with some crazy emotional ups and downs for you, dear Libra. Overall, there seems to be an intense cloud that is seeping into every part of your day. Don't try to fool people in any way. They will see right through you. Bursts of positive energy will be popping out of nowhere to remind you of your more important purpose. Try not to get so bogged down in the heaviness of the day that you fail to spot the opportunities when they arise."
^Horoscope for today. It's pretty correct actually.
Stayed up late last night watching "A Stranger Calls Back." That still scares the crap out of me. I think that unconsciously that was my inspiration for "A Hole in the Wall." Finally fell asleep during full house at like 5:30. My mom woke me up at 12 because the refridgerater/stove deliverers were here. Yeah that was super pointless for me to get up. Went back to sleep and woke up when Jenny called me like 3 times. That was about 4. Got up, got ready, she came over and we went to the Japanese restaurant. Everything was super good. I learned that I'm a big fan of ginger. Left there, went to Arundel Mills, walked around. Saw Kenny. Went to H&M, lots of cute things I wanted there but no. Then went to see Jersey Girl. They put it in the smallest theater, but it was pretty packed in there. I thought it was good! The only problem I had with Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck was that since they were such media whores, Kevin Smith had to cut out a lot of Lopez's parts so you didn't really get attached to her and when she died it wasn't too horrible. Although I did cry when Ben hung her picture on the mobile. Oh man. Also, the music was a little too John Hughsy for me, but whatever, I mean you gotta make a fucking soundtrack right? Liv Tyler and Ben were adorable together though. It's cool because that's the only movie where I actually watched the preview for it while I was standing next to the director. I'm so industry!
While we were at the mall Ali called me to bitch at me about something which in the scheme of things seems pretty small, but since it is everyone's goal to make me look like the bad guy and them look like the victim, I guess it's appropriate. Then I talked to Jessica and got to hear others reason why I'm so horrible (not her accusing though, her relating the info back.) This whole experince has been a big pile of shit, and we're all constantly trying to step on other people to dig ourselves out, but at least I've learned some stuff along the way...
Lesson #1: If you do something/something happens to you, and you don't want a lot of people to know, don't tell anyone period! No one! (Unless it's Jenny of course, that girl is a fucking vault!) Bottom line, you can't expect other people to sit on your secret when you couldn't even do that yourself.
Lesson #2: Always playing the victim is unattractive and boring. Especially when the victim is about as innocent as Hitler.
Lesson #3: Being friends with a couple is ALWAYS a bad idea. Inevitably, you're forced to choose sides. Hmm maybe an adendum to this should be: trying to stay friends with a couple that has broken up, never works.
Lesson #4: Guilty people will accuse the innocent of wrong doing to over compensate for the festering guilt that's residing inside them. If someone is accusing you of cheating, their probably cheating themselves.
Lesson #5: "Bad" friends or "place holder" friends are necessary to show you how great your real friends are.
Lesson #6: Always be cautious of people who consider you their "best friend" after only a short amount of time. Best friends don't happen over weeks.
Do you think I could turn this all into a movie without getting sued? I'm still convinced that as long as you put that "All characters and storylines are fictional, blah, blah, blah" blurb at the end of the credits, it basically covers your ass. I mean, who can argue against coincidence?
"Lord forgive him, he got them dark forces in him, but he also got a righteous cause for sinning, them will murder me, so I gotta murder them first."
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| "It was a mistake." "Really? Lily didn't seem to think so." |
[25 Mar 2004|10:55pm] |
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gotta go....fight club. |
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I hate not being able to answer seemingly simple questions. What qualities do you think a friend has to have? Why do you want to hang out with this person? What did you actually expect to happen?
Fucked up day today. Ended up hanging out with Matt, Jessica, and Erin all at the same time which could have proved to be a really poisonous situation except that we're all pussies and strive to keep the status quo. Can we all actually be friends? Real friends? I'm at the point where, excluding Jenny of course, I don't even know who I'm friends with anymore. I'm also really bad at staying broken up in friendships. I'm like the Marty of friendships. I don't see how Ali and I can be friends when she believes that I viciously tried to steal her biggest crush ever. And in all fairness I was half guitly in that. Nathan was half guilty though too but he's a boy so of course he doesn't get ostracized, only me. I don't see how Erin can be friends with me when she thinks that I'm sleeping with Matt. I told her today that I didn't want to hang out with her because she accuses me of that, and she was like "Well I didn't say that today!" Oh yeah, today! I mean honestly, am I the only person who finds the idea of me and Matt ever together comical? Today when Jessica and I were over Matt's, Erin had to talk to me on the phone and she was like "Why can't we all hang out and be friends?" and I was like "Because we all talk about each other behind everyone's back and we have all these secrets and lies that no one can keep secret" and she was like "I don't talk about anyone behind their back." And I think that comment basically sums up that friend groups' fucked up relationship.
Then I have this whole cold war conflict with Mike. It's cold war in the sense that we're silent about it until something crazy happens and then we're just avoidant. I'd like to fix things but I don't think he wants me to. We'll probably just end up burying this like everything else that's even remotely come between us. And I just think that's really...depressing.
On the flip side, I have no issues with Jenny now! She's in new york. Damn her. Okay so there's the jealousy issue that she gets to do something during spring break while I hang out. But it's fine. She's coming back tomorrow and we're going Japanese and then seeing Jersey Girl.
I've only had like 7 total hours of sleep for the past few days and have nothing to show for it. Except for the fact that I'm fucking exhausted but am I going to bed? Of course not, I refuse to be logical during spring break!
Finally, Jessica let me borrow all her Jay-Z cds so that's what I'm doing tonight into tomorrow. :-) Justify my thug.
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| I'll just wait here...and watch the sunset. |
[20 Mar 2004|03:51am] |
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i don't even know whats going on anymore |
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Everything is out.
Erin told Ali.
Ali told us.
We told Matt.
Matt told Erin.
We're just a huge dysfunctional circle. Out of all of this, I can only find one thing that boggles my mind...how far do you have to go to hurt someone to the point where they will actually cut ties with you? Ali betrayed Erin, her "best friend" and tonight Erin was still hanging out with Ali, over her house. I'm sure they were plotting ways to make the Dave story seem like bunkum. Last night Matt was all gung ho about not hanging anything to do with Erin, but now it's like he's believing her or at least trying to when she goes and denies it to him. Has everyone developed co-dependency? Or were we all just born with it? This completely baffles me.
Honestly, I have no idea where anyone stands now. I'm going to go ahead and assume that Erin and Ali aren't friends with me anymore. But knowing those two, they might be calling me up in a few weeks to make up. I don't understand how any of us can be friends at all. There will always be lies and secrets. Secrets and lies.
I just came back from seeing Dawn of the Dead (hence the whole being up late...can't sleep, zombies will eat me.) It worked on so many levels, it's ridiculous. It had such a human quality to it. We all have to watch our backs. You have to be careful who you trust. Because secrets are the disease, most people are contaminated, and everything is closing in on you.
Survival of the fittest, right?
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| If I knew then what I know now. |
[19 Mar 2004|12:56am] |
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i'm tired of walking on eggshells. |
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Reading this non-online journal that I kept Freshman/Sophmore year of college. It's so werid. Everything was so different then. My biggest problem then was trying to get a certain someone to notice me. (Yeah that really went far.) I was taking for granted the fact that someone else noticed me. (Ditto.) I was overly concerned with Jenny's boyfriend situation. (Well I was kinda right about that whole not lasting thing, but I mean what does last you know? It was basic common sense not intuition.) I was still hanging out with Jerry. Jenny still had crushes on 14 year olds! Oh well. What's done is done.
My theater group is performing The Well of Horniness for our group project. I get to play girly girl lesbian! We're filming instead of going live because everyone in my group is public speaking phobic, I guess? Anyway since we're using my equipment and I'm editing it, I can submit it for my film portfolio! Oh man and it's so funny b/c for the male character in the play, yeah we're just going to draw a face on a dildo. That was fucking genius whoever came up with that. It was so funny b/c my teacher was like "yeah another group who did this play last year, performed it with barbie dolls so they wouldn't have to do any of the sex things themseles" and we were like "but the only reason we're doing this is because of the sex things!" We're like we'll just have everyone walk around naked for no reason at all. It's a nudist play!
Tomorrow I have to go to science lab. I still don't know how to load my fucking webpage onto the umbc server. Damn them. Anyway then I'm ditching work obviously, and going to college park to pick up ms. Jenny and then we're coming back here and me, her, Matt, and Jessica are going to see Dawn of the Dead. I think we're going early so it's not crowded. Then the rest of the night is up for grabs. Oh but I think I'm going with Jessica to pick up Scott from woods, so I can fawn over him. Oh man I called him today. Hilarious. All I know about tomorrow night is that I'm probably not hanging out with Ali. All this behind the back high school bullshit is really bringing me down.
Everything is all lies and bullshit now. And I don't think I can do it anymore.
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| Hey, what can I say? I'm a filmmaker. I like to watch. |
[16 Mar 2004|12:50am] |
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nora's video is so weird. |
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Quote of the week:
"I've thought about that a lot, and if Jen really wanted to fuck some guy, I think I would be cool with it. But I'm afraid I'm one of those husbands who just want to watch their wife get fucked by someone. You read those stories about couples who play this game where the husband hides in the closet and watches while his wife brings some unsuspecting guy home and fucks him. I have this fear that I might actually be that guy, you know? Is that fucked-up or what? Hey, what can I say? I'm a filmmaker. I like to watch." --Kevin Smith, in Playboy
Friday, I had therapy. I was eight minutes late so she freaked and called my cell phone...while I was in the waiting room. Yeah. So even though I thought I failed my challenge for the week she considers me having completed it. Then I went to lab. And flirted with the TA and conveniently, my lab group won the contest, even though we were like the most behind....coincidence? I don't think so. Anyway we got mad candy for winning and somehow I ended up with it. So I came home and had to go pick up my dad's truck. Then my dad took me and my mom to Woodfire, and he let me get the surf and turf. So wonderful. Then we shopped and came home. I went to Carini's but Billy was being a bitch to me (which is like his motif now or something) so I got kicked out of the store and I waited in my car for Ali and Jessica to come back. Then Jessica and I went to drop off her car and when we came back Erin and Ali only had like 30 more minutes of work so Billy really couldn't say anything about me being there so he had to grin and bare it. So then we went to Friendly's. Steve was our waiter and we heart him because he treats us super nice. Erin was kind of pissy that night, who know why but she was, so she was kind of a downer. We went to Woods to pick up Jessica's brother, and it's my ultimate goal to freak him out and make him think I'm madly infatuated with him. So I was all like "hey scott, sit next to me." Hahaha. So then we went back to Ali's and Jessica and I came back here to get Spike so she could take a day trip. It's so funny to watch Spike chase Max around. So after Jessica and Scott left, Erin decided that she needed to blow up the blow up mattress (b/c she was spending the night) and of course Ali didn't have an air compressor, so Erin and I went to her house, but we took her car, and after blowing up the mattress it didn't fit in her trunk. So we had to put it on top of the car, and hang out the windows so we could hold it down, and Erin could only drive like 3 mph. We were so cold when we finally go back to Ali's house. So then Erin and Ali were babies and had to go to sleep so I gathered up Spike and came home.
Saturday, yeah woke up at like 4pm. I can't help it. I'm sleepy. So my dad took me to Wendy's so I could get food. Then I went over Ali's house and she was spazing b/c this new guy Josh was supposed to call her to hang out that night. But he was such a boy and didn't call, so that was depressing for everyone. But Erin went to hang out with "Mike" and Ali and Jessica and Me went to Friendly's. Steve was our waiter of course. He brings us free stuff. It's exciting. Then we had a little adventure which was tame, if you ask me, but which scared the crap out of Ali. Then Ali and I came back to her house and we watched Uptown Girls. I came home and stayed up until 6am reading my art history book for the midterm.
Sunday I woke up at 5. Too tired. I refused to hang out with anyone because I had mad amounts of reading for my art history midterm to finish plus I had to write an outline for a paper for that class. Later that night, I ended up threewaying on the phone with Erin and Matt and in between their fighting, I got my work done.
Today, monday, I got up early so I'd be on time to class (since I usually don't go to that class.) I felt like crap when I woke up though. I totally thought I was going to throw up. But I made it to class, and the teacher got there and was going to set up the slides, and she was like "how are you?" directly to me. And then she was like "I like your sweatshirt!" Oh man she's on to me. She knows I blow off her class to sleep in my car. Somehow I managed to slide through the midterm pretty easily. I have no idea how horrible I actually might have done though. So then I left school and stopped at Carini's and talked to Erin and Tina for awhile. Then Billy came back from delivery and he's very anti-me now for no reason at all. He's pissed b/c his business is basically going down the crapper. Oh well. So then George came in and he made fun of me being short (why doesn't that get old for people?) and we talked about my hamsters. When Erin got off, she of course had to take a shower for no reason at all so I came home and had lunch and watched that 101 reason why the 90s rule show. So finally she was ready so we went to Rush to go tanning. We decided that we should go 10 minutes this time since it's our third time and last time I didn't really get tan from the 8 minutes. Oh and since I don't want to further burn my nipples, I ended up having to put the only thing I had in the car that had SPF in it which was foundation, on them. Kinda weird. So we tanned for 10 minutes and then Erin talked to the people about getting her hair dyed and she finally freaking made an appointment for wednesday. So after we left there, Erin hadn't had any lunch so we stopped at Chik-fil-a and I called Jenny b/c N.E.R.D is playing at my school and I wanted to know if she wanted to go, and Erin was like let's go visit Jenny! Okay so I didn't know exactly how to get to college park from crofton and we ended up in DC by the Pepsi plant and the Redskins stadium. Eventually we ended up breaking down and calling Jenny to direct us there. Erin and I almost got killed serveral times. I kept telling Erin to stop acting so white. Which is funny b/c she was actually red, but more on that later. So we get to college park and actually find parking around Jenny's building, and we start walking past the apartments and someone squirts us with water from above us. See this is why I hate college park. The only reason I assume it wasn't pee, is b/c it was really cold. So Jenny comes and rescues us and Erin gets to see all the asian food pictures in her apartment. Haha. So Jenny makes us watch the news. And this is when we first notice that Erin is horribly red...everywhere. She's so sun burned and it showed up like an hour after tanning and that's kinda unusal for that kind of tanning but whatever. It's really bad. So we helped Jenny with her homework. And by help I mean we called everyone in Erin's phonebook and asked them if they knew the answers. Then we went to Marty and Mike's and everyone made fun of Erin's sunburn. Then I took Erin home and came home myself. Then she called me. She's obsessed with me! She was going to threeway Matt on the phone but I was like "no I'll just get off and you can call him b/c I don't want to sit through another argument." I mean they're kind of funny but really sad when I think about everything I know.
So will I ever go back to work this week? My schedule is filling up fast. Tomorrow, hopefully it will snow and I won't have to go to school, but no of course it won't. So school tomorrow. Theater, working out, film. Get home too late to do anything exciting. Study for science midterm. Wednesday, go to art to get my outline back (in theory) and then to science to take the midterm. Afterwards, I have to come home and pick Erin up and take her to Rush to get her hair dyed. I think I'm going to oxygen bar it while she's getting worked on. I debated going tanning again, but I don't want to be all tanorexic about it. Then Erin says she wants to show everyone her hair? That means back to college park. Thursday is the only possiblity for working. Friday, science lab, then up to college park to pick up Jenny, then back here to watch tv and eat, and then Erin, Matt, Jenny, and I are going to see Dawn of the Dead!!! Very excited for that. Saturday apparently everyone is going bowling which basically means that I'm chaperoning Ali's date with Josh. I'm sure I'll be accused of flirting with him, so I'm going to just be anti social that night. Or maybe we can get Jessica's brother to come and I'll focus all my attention on him. Hahaha.
I'm so glad spring break is almost here. I wish I was going someplace for it though. Like Japan! But I'm saving that trip for the locust invasion crap in May. We found out that the locusts have no eyes or mouth...so they basically don't have a face. And that makes it creepier.
Tanning always makes me so tired. But at least I'm not burned!
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| Things you can tell just by looking at her... |
[12 Mar 2004|01:08am] |
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piggles is being bad. |
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So I'm taking a new approach to some stuff. I've come to the conclusion that she wants me to know, so I'm playing dumb and not mentioning ANYTHING. Just silently gagging during the way too often phone calls.
Been hanging out with Ali a lot recently. As always, she's going through a "what should I do about Nathan" crisis. Right now she's taking the ignoring approach. She's always like "what should I do?" I have no idea. I've never managed to perfect the balance between alluring and aloof. Obviously.
I didn't have to go to school today! Since my theater group finished out lesbian play thingy on tuesday. So I slept constantly last night through today. It was pretty impressive. I haven't been to work all week! I'm looking for excuses to blow off work tomorrow but all have fallen through. Jessica was supposed to call me today about her and me and Scott doing stuff tomorrow but she didn't. Oh and now Jessica and Erin are warring, so it's hard to keep them separate, especially when it's Ali's goal in life to keep everyone together.
Therapy tomorrow. I'm going to get yelled at because I didn't do my challenge for this week. Well okay I tried to do it. It's hard to complete things that rely on someone else, you know? I'm pretty over that now anyway, it's weird how a lot of things can change in two weeks. It's great because Ali keeps trying to believe that certain things that Nathan does gets her totally over him but they don't. That's something that I have been able to perfect though. Therapy bothers me because I flip flop around too much with it. I think she's going to make me talk about my mom's sickness tomorrow, which is going to make me cry. At least I'm getting hot chocolate out of the deal.
I'll leave you with this:
Mystery of the week: Tell me how one of my nipples gets burned during tanning...but not the other one?
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